“Patience is not the ability to wait, but the ability to keep a good attitude while waiting.” Anonymous
August 12th, 2017 will never be forgotten. On this day I fractured my fibula and even though it was not the most serious of fractures, the recovery has felt like the contrary. So here I am trying to be patient, trying to have the best attitude while I wait for answers and the possibility of going back to being able to do anything and everything I want, physically. It’s been 2.5 years since the accident, I’ve done everything the Dr’s have said, but here I am still searching for answers.
After my accident, even though the fracture was supposed to be a simple fracture, the recovery was like hell. A month and a half being in bed, months of therapy and months of constant pain. I tried to be patient and so I just stopped paying attention to it, I stopped complaining and I tried to resume my normal active life. It wasn’t long until that was put on hold again. After one short run my ankle went back to aching and swelling. So 10 months after my accident, I was back at the Dr. getting MRI and xrays to check and see what was going on. Apparently I had had two fractures, fibula and tibia (the latter had not shown on the xrays), so my Dr. Suggested surgery. And so I did, a year later went to El Salvador and had surgery. That recovery didn’t go as great as I’d hoped forl, it took me another 4 months of physical therapy, needed ozone therapy and stem cell treatment. All of this helped a little bit, but I was tired of saying that things were not really working, so I kind of decided to just give my ankle some time off and hopefully on its own it would recover.
About a month ago (2.5 yrs later), I was hopeful. I could feel my ankle almost like new, had had no real trouble or pain and so I decided to reach out to a coach and have him slowly train me to start running. It was all going great, I was feeling like my old self, being challenged and motivated. This didn’t last long. Three weeks later the aching and pain were back. Went straight back to the Dr, was ordered another MRI and Xrays, and today I got news that there are two possible explanations to my pain. One, there is a possibility of me having an infection inside my ankle or two, I might have a contusion caused by running. So, waiting for the lab tests and hopefully discard the first option (infection).
Now, I try my best to be patient, which I am now reminded is about having a good attitude while I wait. What am I waiting and/or hoping for? Answers, explanations and hopefully being able to get whatever is wrong fixed. What does this positive attitude look like? Mostly just keep on walking, putting the pain aside. It means being grateful that I am able to walk and that I can afford proper and good quality health care. Keeping a positive attitude is reminding myself that it could be worse.
In this process of being patient, I remember the words of David G. Allen, “Patience is the calm acceptance that things can happen in a different order than the one you have in your mind.” More than keeping a positive attitude, this is the part that I struggle a bit with. Realizing that not only can things happen in a different order, but things that might happen are totally different than what I want to happen. But writing this tonight is helping me remember this and helping me be patient.